Tag Archives: Fix it or Schmuck it

Fix it or Schmuck it

fixitWelcome, fellow bloggers.

Today I am going to impart some of my wisdom to you as it pertains to basic home repairs.

First things first: your tool kit shall contain the following items: 1 roll of duct tape, 1 can WD-40, and one sledge hammer. If you can not fix any broken item in your home with these items, then it may be time to head down to the local hardware store. It is extremely important that you enter the hardware store while on your cellphone. This lets the clerk know how important you are. After doing this for a few minutes, interrupt him while he is waiting on the next customer, because your problem IS more important. Be sure to describe your problem in as few words as possible. Do not bother taking a picture or attempting to draw anything out. The hardware man can guess. Note-these steps will not work at a big box home improvement store. They will be just as clueless as you.

Once you have the appropriate parts, return to your home and the swearing shall commence.  If there is no swearing, then clearly you are not doing it right. Flying sparks and/or running water are always the sign of a quality repair job.

Next week, we will cover some common injuries that happen trying to do your own repairs.